Fall Down Seven Times, Stand Up Eight

If I had a word to describe my October - trying.

As I discussed in my last post, I haven't had the easiest of months.

I will admit that there are days I don't want to climb out of bed.  There are days I question everything I am and where I am in my life.  And it's all just so heavy and exhausting.

I feel sometimes that I'm screaming into an open hallway, but all of the doors are closed and no one wants to listen to me.  I wonder if anything I'm doing even matters?

But I don't let these days defeat me.

October has not been kind to me in many ways, but it's been character building.  If nothing else, I have learned to rely even more on myself and I've gained strength through the pain.

The depression has also been seeping in....dark and ugly and like molasses that encompasses me and threatens to swallow me whole.

Even writing those words makes me exhausted and pining for a nap.

Blogging has obviously taken a backseat, for I've currently run out of clever puns and LOST analogies to discuss.

But I wake up every day and know that this storm will pass.  The storms always pass.

And one way I've been fighting back has been through my fitness and nutrition.  I'm still on the P90x track.  I've stopped the doubles schedule (I could pick it back up next week if I'm inspired), but I'm still following the program.  I did have a very slight lapse over my grandmother's funeral week, so I repeated that week last week - adding an extra week to the program but I'm honestly okay with that.  So this week is my recovery week for phase 2 (more stretching and less weights) and I have completed about 2/3 of the program.  I will say that keeping my workouts consistent has helped immensely.  I'm still drinking my daily Shakeology and getting all of my nutrients in and working on eating cleanly (which lets be honest, is easier some days than others).

Just wanted to let you know that I'm keeping up the good fight, and I hope to once again be back to inspiring YOU, but until then I am keeping my promise to keep it real.