Well hello, abs. Nice to see you again!

I was going about my morning routine when I realized how awesomely my workout pants were fitting today.  Upon further inspection - um....abs.  I had to photograph this small victory and record it.

I guess I'm about 2/3 of the way through P90x so this should count as a mid-program picture I suppose?  I am bad about remembering to take the "during" photos.

But in the spirit of staying strong and looking at the bright side and counting my blessings, I decided I'd sit down and write a blog right now.

Because even though things haven't been super awesome and amazing lately, my body decided to be kind and reward me with a visual of my hard work.  And I will take it.

I will admit that there was a bit of comfort food eating a couple of weeks ago and my body completely acting out because of it.  And because my body doesn't react well to comfort food it took a good couple of weeks for it to detoxify itself.  And I seriously didn't think my abs survived.  But I woke up this morning and here they are.  And I am happy to see them.

So with this, I am going to go on about my day.  Had my delicious vegan strawberry Shakeology for breakfast, and still have my P90x workout to do.  And with those healthy habits in place I will be able to conquer the rest of the day and whatever demons decide to come along for the ride.

Have an awesome Tuesday, peeps!

Fall Down Seven Times, Stand Up Eight

If I had a word to describe my October - trying.

As I discussed in my last post, I haven't had the easiest of months.

I will admit that there are days I don't want to climb out of bed.  There are days I question everything I am and where I am in my life.  And it's all just so heavy and exhausting.

I feel sometimes that I'm screaming into an open hallway, but all of the doors are closed and no one wants to listen to me.  I wonder if anything I'm doing even matters?

But I don't let these days defeat me.

October has not been kind to me in many ways, but it's been character building.  If nothing else, I have learned to rely even more on myself and I've gained strength through the pain.

The depression has also been seeping in....dark and ugly and like molasses that encompasses me and threatens to swallow me whole.

Even writing those words makes me exhausted and pining for a nap.

Blogging has obviously taken a backseat, for I've currently run out of clever puns and LOST analogies to discuss.

But I wake up every day and know that this storm will pass.  The storms always pass.

And one way I've been fighting back has been through my fitness and nutrition.  I'm still on the P90x track.  I've stopped the doubles schedule (I could pick it back up next week if I'm inspired), but I'm still following the program.  I did have a very slight lapse over my grandmother's funeral week, so I repeated that week last week - adding an extra week to the program but I'm honestly okay with that.  So this week is my recovery week for phase 2 (more stretching and less weights) and I have completed about 2/3 of the program.  I will say that keeping my workouts consistent has helped immensely.  I'm still drinking my daily Shakeology and getting all of my nutrients in and working on eating cleanly (which lets be honest, is easier some days than others).

Just wanted to let you know that I'm keeping up the good fight, and I hope to once again be back to inspiring YOU, but until then I am keeping my promise to keep it real.

Strength Grows In The Moments Where You Think You Can't Go On, But You Keep Going Anyway

Hello, my beautiful readers.  I feel as though I've failed you for not checking in for so long.  I had a goal to blog consistently when I began and it seems as though curve balls have been thrown my way lately.

Some are laughable....getting broken up with by post it note (or more accurately - being let go of a job by having my email account and all of my logins deleted out from under me),   Some are annoying....this sickness that's settled into my chest for the past 2 weeks and won't leave.  And some are just heartbreaking.....

My grandma passed away on Saturday.

And life will never be quite the same.

I knew it was serious when I got the text on Friday to get to the hospital ASAP, and I knew as soon as I got there that she wasn't coming home.  I think she was aware that I was there in the room, but less than 24 hours later she was at peace.  No more chronic health issues, she was free of the pain.  But I wasn't.  My pain had just begun.

This weekend and past couple of days have been a blur of memories, supportive friends, constant family togetherness and sadness.

I'm still waiting for someone to piece me back together again, but I am also aware that this is not how it works.  I think we just learn to live in the brokenness of it all.

So, blogging has taken a backseat over the past couple of weeks.  But I also want to use it as a therapeutic boost, so consider yourself my personal psychologist, dear readers.

Eating well and working out completely went out the window Friday - Tuesday.  That's been the biggest gap I've had since last spring.  And I knew I was in trouble when watching TV last night with the hubs.  I saw an Arby's commercial and suddenly got hungry/developed a craving for fast food.  Prior to this I usually would feel disgust when I saw ads like that.

So today I made myself get up. And I decided to get back on the horse with Yoga X.  It's by far the longest workout of the series - 90 minutes.  But it was 90 minutes that I needed to just breathe.  And stretch.  And I honestly felt better afterwards.  Lunch was a salad - I miss and desperately need vegetables again.  I fell hard into comfort eating for those past few days.  At this point I think I will have to encourage myself on a daily basis to keep going.  But I know what I want to accomplish, and I know that sometimes you just gotta keep on keepin on.  Eventually the sun comes out again.  Just gotta push through the storms while I wait.

Sometimes You Just Gotta Push Through It

Good day my peeps.  The sun is shining today (which helps) but I am - and have been for the past 3 or 4 days - feeling sub-par.  Like I'm not quite totally sick, but I am fatigued and exhausted and just feeling run down, you know?  For the record, kiddo #1 has been dealing with an upper respiratory thing and kiddo #2 had a fever last week.  So, yay!?! LOL

Because of feeling not so hot, I subbed out my Yoga X workout for the easier X Stretch on Friday, took my designated rest day on Saturday.  And then I did something that I haven't done in like 6 months.  I took a day off that wasn't an assigned day off in my workout schedule.  Did I feel guilty?  Yes!  Did I feel weak and fatigued?  Yes.  So, I didn't want to push it but I woke up today feeling like a total slacker.

So, what did I do?  I went straight back to not just the classic schedule, but the crazy doubles schedule I started last week.  This morning I worked out for 2 hours.  And I just went for it.  I didn't feel energized, in fact I felt fatigued, but I dug about as deep as I could and got that dang workout in.  I have goals, I have reasons beyond "just getting in shape" to transform my body, and not even feeling sick is going to interfere with it.

Here is my sweaty selfie of the day.  I was not amused.....

Sidenote - this is the FIRST time I've even had any type of illness at all since I started drinking my daily Shakeology (the magical nutrient dense elixir that has otherwise strengthened my immune system).  So I'm hoping that this bout of the yuckies passes soon.  I'm still drinking all of my daily vitamins and nutrients so whatever has set up camp in my body is not welcome - at all...it better be gone STAT!

So that's what happening in my world.  Good times kids.  Just gotta keep pressing play.  Even when you don't feel like it, you just have to DO IT!